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just a smidge

By 3/23/2018

let's bathing suit shop together, because inevitably the time will be here before we know it that my white self will have to be showcased. literally everything everywhere is too slutty, so let's just narrow the playing field to anthro for efficiency's sake.

do you think my boobs would fit into this?  like, a normal size pair of boobs?   packets like this are difficult - something always escapes.

i know this one is suited to me -- i like it a lot - you still look like you have semi-stylez but nothing is escaping from a packet.  black one pieces with underwire are hard to find, so it's required i snatch them up when i find one.  i had a fantastic one from asos that i've lost TWICE on vacation.  lost, replaced and then got home and unpacked, gone again!  two suits.  wasn't meant to be.

i feel a little ridiculous for liking this one, but i do?  it's too leg-warmers and scrunchies but it feels chic in a southern kind of french way, non?

i love this too but it feels like too much work.  anything off the shoulder never stays off the shoulder, and then you're that douchebag who's constantly tugging at your lewk to make it work.

and this, it's too i was on the diving team in college and her vagina feels so aggressive in it.  but i like the idea of it.

this is super cute.  does it feel too happy?

i'd like to be the person who wears this, and stands just like she's standing, but it never seems to work out when i order something bright and and any parts happy, at all.

how cute are these sheets on sale?  maybe i'll just wrap up in them.

this chandelier is pretty great, esp for the price ($450!).  miles redd for ballard.  and everything is 20% off right now.  boom of all the booms.

and i gotta say, i dig this table  - it would be a cool little storage piece in a bathroom.

well, we've gotten through most of the pressing issues of the day.  i was supposed to do 2934 fun things with jeff and horses this weekend but my face is in open rebellion against me.  for the last 6 weeks i've been challenged by a crazy cold sore / chapped lip situation that seems to be converging into leprosy.  i'm finally going to the doctor this morning, which i hate hate hate more than anything under the international space station.  i'll have to weigh.  and pay money.  (that's enough there to abhor).  then i'll come away with no better answer than i started with - knowing the only hope of healing anything in this whole entire world is time.  just be patient.  ugh.  hurry up easier life that has no problems - i'm waiting for you.


  1. This is one of my favorite blog posts ever. Thank you for being honest with your swimsuit shopping--it's hilarious and so true. Why is it so hard to find a non-slutty, non-boring, but still practical and cute one piece? Are there that many people who have a small enough chest to fit into all of these swimsuits with "packets" as you call them?! Thanks again!

    1. I agree with JNopie. This blog post had me LOL. You're inside my mind today!

  2. i just went swimsuit shopping last week. everything is either slutty or clearly not intended to actually, you know, swim in. Or requires a consultant to figure out how the straps work. But I've found that the most important thing I purchase is actually the cover up! Get a cute cover up and you'll feel like a million bucks going to the beach :).

  3. When I get a "crazy cold sore / chapped lip situation" Burt's Bees original (the minty kind) makes it feel soooooo much better than anything else that costs an arm and a leg. I swear the peppermint oil keeps that shit under some semblance of control.