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state of my estate

By 6/08/2016

“i wonder if i've been changed in the night. let me think. was i the same when i got up this morning? i almost think i can remember feeling a little different. but if i'm not the same, the next question is 'who in the world am i?' ah, that's the great puzzle!”
―lewis carroll, alice in wonderland

i'd like to think i'm fairly good with change. at least i usually am, until something changes.

i've built a business that accommodates for change. changes in trends, in my mood, in my attention span, in the space i want to be in, in the people i choose to surround myself with (those continue to get better, thankfully), even the color i hate (i like yellow now, did you get the memo?).

i've identified that's an important part of furbish. we embrace consistently being inconsistent. i'm good at it. it works for me. i'm very lucky to be an alice in my wonderland - i wake up every day and tell major we're #soblessed. i look him right in his dog face and we decide to start the day being grateful.

i just turned 36. and that's fine. no freaking out. a good deal of my income now rerouted to dumb things like spots that only a few years ago were embraced as freckles?, and things of the like, but generally everything's ok. i realize i'm living an extended childhood (re: the alice thing) and it's mostly because i haven't had children yet, i dyed my hair bright red, i've spent the last year traipsing, etc, etc.

we're selling our house soon. change is imminent. my challenge is going to be to accept change in my personal life as easily as i do in my work life.

i'm rereading one of my favorite books - tender is the night.  the introduction quotes fitzgerald reporting on the progress of the novel to his editor: 'i write to you from the depths of one of my unholy depressions. the book is wonderful ― i honestly think that when it's published i shall be the best american novelist, but the end seems far away. my work is the only thing that makes me happy ― except to be a little tight ― and for those two indulgences i pay a big price in mental and physical hangovers...'


love that book.  love fitzgerald.
i think i'm going to do great.  

thanks for humoring my last year of angst.  it's character building.  i'll find something prettier tomorrow.


  1. You are awesome Jamie...........I always look forward to what you have to say, and your truth.
    I love TITN too. If you love all things 1920's French Rivera, then be sure to read about Gerald and Sara Murphy. Many say Tender is the Night is modeled after the Divers. Everybody Was So Young is a great read, and Fitzgerald is mentioned often.

    1. I will definitely check those out emily! thanks for the recs!

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  3. I read that book in high school and it became my favorite book! I must read it again (I am also 36 :) I love this blog. I miss blogs like yours where you serve a dose of inspiration, design and just plain old story telling without just constantly selling stuff. I meant to comment this on your where have all the blogs gone post a few weeks back. Just my two cents (ch-ch-ch-changes are good!)

  4. I love when we get to hear your real voice when reading your blog - it's alwasy easy to see how unique you are on the outside through your work and your style, but cool to get a glimpse of the real you on the inside because you are so authentic. Excited about your move, hope you will let us see it on your blog!!

  5. Wishing you peace in the midst of your evolution:)

  6. Yes, yes yes. Love this blog and I totally feel you, thanks for sharing your life. xx

  7. Remember to take deep cleansing breaths. You got this.

  8. Sending good vibes to you through this turn in the journey of life. We are all big fans! I've been stressing lately myself, maybe we need a new dancey playlist :)

  9. Hang in there, Sweetums. You got this. I promise, you got this.


  10. Had a 'character building' year myself.
    Just once I'd like to build character on a tropical beach