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By 8/17/2014

i'm sure you've noticed things have been a good deal less personal on the blog for a while. i've been back and forth with what i want to share about my life lately. i've been doing this for a very long time, blogging - i joke since dinosaurs roamed the internet - and when i started, i was an open book. you've watched me grow, and change, lose a job and start a company. i've shared my travels and my friends, my finds and my follies, and you've hung in there as my goals and my style constantly evolved.  from my hair to clothes, my decorating tastes and my budgets, you've been patiently along for the ride as i tried a bit of everything, and i hope to continue that journey with my readers. as i've shared before, you are the reason i am able to do what i love for a career, and employ other women, allowing their creativity a place to flourish, and essentially you guys pay my mortgage, keep me in business and keep me in check. thank you.

some things i need to need to hold a bit closer these days, in my business and personal life, but today i want to share what's important.

on tuesday august 12th my mom passed away, after a very short but very brave battle with cancer. she was diagnosed in may, started chemo and radiation in june, and made it halfway through her treatments before she could no longer fight the fatal toll the medicines were taking on her body. i've been at home the past few weeks with my family, in the hospital, holding my mom's hand as she continued to fight until the very last breath she took. we celebrated her life with friends and family this week, and yesterday, i had to leave to come to new york for several business obligations.

i feel a bit like a fish out of water - i haven't opened my computer in days. and i wasn't sure i was ready to today. but i need to honor my mom, even while the pain is fresh and loss is deeper than i could have ever imagined.

my mom taught me to love pretty things. she showed me that creating a pleasing asesthic environment was a talent possessed by few, but the results enjoyed by so many. she nurtured furbish from the very first tag sale we had in a warehouse in clemmons - by staying up countless nights painting furniture, beaming with pride when our check-out line was out the door, and continuing to encourage me to stay creative, ambitious and true to myself as i made the decision to open a real store in raleigh.

as i changed, and grew, up and away, my relationship with my mom drifted a bit. i'm not big on regrets, but i do wish i had the opportunity to tell her that she was the wellspring of every ounce of creativity i have - i don't know if i ever did while she was alive. i certainly told her every little secret i'd kept over 34 years when she was laying unconscious in the ICU (at one point i said, 'mom, if you wake up, i have some serious explaining to do'), but i didn't tell her enough when it mattered most. she was caring and kind, selfless and sincere, really funny and a true southern charmer. i am so grateful she was my mom, and i hope i can continue to make her proud by striving every day to be a good person, a driven businesswoman, a kind friend and wife, and an inspired creator.

80 comments

  1. I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your mother. It is such a small world. I have followed your blog for awhile and enjoy seeing your talent. I worked with your aunt Ellen, at WS Health Care for many years but have lost touch with her. I send prayers for you and your family! Your mother was very talented! Marilyn Miller

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  2. OH Jamie! I am so so sorry that you had to lose your mama and that your mom had to battle so hard. We just lost my uncle to cancer this week too.

    I admire your creativity and I am so glad that your mom got to watch everything you have accomplished, but most importantly I am glad that you go to be there with her. Once again, I am so so sorry! I will pray for you to have Supernatural comfort in this deep pain and loss:(

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  3. I'm so very sorry Jamie. This is a beautiful tribute to your mom. Prayers to you and your family.

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  4. I am so very sorry for your loss. Your mother sounds like a wonderful person and I am sure she will be greatly missed!

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  5. Sorry for your loss, Jamie. This is a really beautiful tribute that you shared here.

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  6. Oh Jamie. My deepest condolences to you and your family. I know first hand what you're going through. Same story. Different family member. I'm praying for you during this time. I'm sure your mom was a wonderful woman... XOXO!

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  7. I was just in raleigh this weekend beating a path to Furbish (I live in Charlotte)! Your store and creativity are a true testament to your mom- she sounds like an incredible cheerleader. So sorry for your loss I cannot even begin to imagine. Lots of love and prayers to your family for the years ahead.

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  8. Sorry for your loss. I'm sure your mom is proud of you and will continue to be with you in spirit. May god continue to guide and comfort you.

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  9. I am so sorry for your loss, Jamie. Your mom will continue to be very proud of you and will watch over you with extreme happiness and joy!

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  10. So sorry to hear this. Wishing you strength during this difficult time.

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  11. Oh Jamie, so, so sorry!! Can't even imagine what you are going through but I do know that your mom must have been (and still is) so proud of you and your fantastically creative journey. Everything you do at Furbish is like the perfect tribute to your mom! And your mom must have been one heck of a lady to produce such an amazing daughter! XOSissy

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  13. sorry, previous comment had typos. wanted to say that I feel your pain and understand how cancer unravels a family. My mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and died 6 months later. she put up an admirable and brave fight. we never had a chance to really hash out anything since her hearing had deteriorated so much. but she never leaves my thoughts. strong mothers never do, and I am sure yours was one too!!! xoxo

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  14. I'm so sorry for your loss, Jaime. I hope you find peace in the company of family and friends during this difficult time. Thank you sharing a lovely tribute to your Mom. Maya

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  15. I am so sorry for your loss. There are really no words that one can say to comfort, however - with that being said - having been through this loosing my own Dad, it gets better and, one day the heaviness in your heart will lift. ((hugs))

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  16. I'm sorry. She sounds like a wonderful lady, and a great mom.

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  17. I'm so sorry about the loss of your mother. As a mother myself, I'm sure she knew how much you loved and cared for her.

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  18. I'm so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute and good reminder for us all.

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  19. My deepest sympathies to you, Jamie. Thank you for sharing. You and your family are in my heart and prayers.

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  20. I cried big crocodile tears reading this tribute to your mother. Thank you for taking the time to provide a reminder of what is truly important in life.

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  21. I'm so sorry Jamie and thank you for sharing with us! You are incredibly strong!

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  22. Thanks for sharing..Sending good vibes your way from Austin. Sometimes it's hard to reconcile the real person and the blogger person. Remember you are the real you first. :)

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  23. So sorry to hear this, Jamie. You are in my thoughts. Sending love.

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  24. beautiful. thinking of you...donna

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  25. Oh, Jamie. I am so sorry. Everything you do at a Furbish is a reflection of your mom. My prayers for you and your family. Mary Ann

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  26. I am so sorry to hear about your Mother's passing. I have enjoyed your blog so much and it has helped keep my creative energy going. Now I know I have her to thank as well. Sending love and thoughts of healing to you and yours.

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  27. So sorry Jamie. What a beautiful tribute. Sending lots of love to you and your family. Xxx

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  28. oh jamie. i hope your heart heals soon and you always remember and celebrate her for all she gave you. i cant even imagine.

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  29. Little you + your beautiful, loving mom with the kindest of eyes. Thank you for sharing the wonderful photo of the two of you.

    My sympathies to you and your family. My mom passed away last year and I miss her so much.

    This is a lovely tribute. I'd love to hear more about your mom, if you feel like sharing.

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  30. I'm so sorry, Jamie. Thanks for sharing this with us.

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  31. Oh Jamie. I am so sorry for your loss. xo

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  32. hey friend, been thinking of you and hope you are holding up as best you can. i'm so sorry for your loss and it just down right sucks. i know she is so proud of what you have done and continue to do! I vote you come back to Clemmons for a pop up shop. xo

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  33. I am so sorry to hear about your loss, and I know there's no right words that can help with the pain you're feeling. I cannot even imagine, but will definitely keep you and your family in my prayers.

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  34. I am so very sorry for your loss. It sounds like your mother was an amazing, inspiring, selfless woman. May you cherish those memories for a lifetime! Keeping your family in my prayers. xoxo

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  35. I am so, so sorry for your loss. This was such a lovely tribute to your mom.

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  36. Very sorry for your loss. In a perfect world we (all your longtime readers) would harness all the joy and happiness you've given us through the years and send it right back at you during this difficult time. Keep doing what you're doing, and inspiring others as your mom inspired you! Sending lots of love and strength your way!

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  37. Michele from BostonAugust 18, 2014 at 10:44 AM

    Jamie- So sorry to hear of your mom's passing. I'm sure she knew how much you loved, admired and appreciated her. With all of your many accomplishments of the last years, who could not help but feel proud? My deepest sympathies- M.

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  38. Jamie, what a beautiful piece in honor of your mom. I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mom gave & nurtured your great talents - you're so lucky to have had her in your life.

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  39. I do not know you personally Jamie but I so enjoy reading your posts. Consider me a fan. I found your post on/tribute to your mother touching, personal, important. I am so sorry for your loss. EB

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  40. I can't tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I know your mom must have been a wonderful person and I can't imagine how proud she was of you. thinking of you! xo

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  41. sending you the biggest of hugs, even though we've never met. i've been a longtime reader, and my heart is heavy for you, and your family, today. this was a beautiful, touching post, and i bet your mother was as proud of you as a mother could possibly be. thinking of you.

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  42. Bless your heart.

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  43. My deepest sympathy. Wish I could give you a hug in person. xo

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  44. Prayers for you and your family. Your mother was a beautiful lady and obviously talented and supportive. And she knew what you didn't say - moms watch and know. You thanked her by staying creative and pursuing your dream and sharing your colorful happiness with others.
    Marcie

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  45. I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been following your blog for some time, and I've always thought you paid tribute to your mom. Today's, however, was extra special. My deepest condolences.

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  46. I am so so sorry you have lost your mom. A loss like this is so very heartbreaking. Your tribute is lovely and she will be looking down on you as your cheerleader for all your days. Love your blog, love you, hang in there and get lots of hugs from your boys.

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  47. You are a living tribute to your mother because like your mother, you serve as an inspiration for me, and many others, to create beauty, in all its varied forms. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

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  48. I'm so sorry for your loss!! What you wrote was beautiful I wish you and your family love and peace.

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  49. Jamie, truth telling is powerful and your tribute to your mother made me cry. May your memories give you strength and peace. With sympathy for you and your family, Susan.

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  50. I'm so sorry. My heart hurts for you and the passing of your mom. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

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  51. Deepest condolences from a reader and fan in Chicago. Thank you for sharing with us and so so sorry for your loss.

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  52. Jamie - I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother! You're in my thoughts and prayers.

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  53. Jamie, I have followed your blog for years and have greatly admired your "can do" attitude and entrepreneurial spirit. You make working women everywhere proud (and even those who don't work). I am sure your dear mother was incredibly proud and blessed to have such a wonderful daughter. We all have regrets and just know that. There is nothing I can say to take the pain away, but know that you have devoted readers and Furbish (I live here in Raleigh) shoppers who admire you and are rooting for you!
    xo Heather

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  54. Lovely sentiment about your Mom.
    Sincere sympathy for your loss, and thank you for sharing. Wishing you and yours peace.

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  55. So, so sorry about your mother. Take care of yourself, and take time to grieve. Hope you realize we're all thinking of you during this difficult time.

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  56. Such beautiful, heartfelt words Jamie. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. At times, interior design can feel like such a shallow profession, no matter how much we love it. I love your Mom's words about few having the talent, but many enjoying the results. Tuck that in your pocket. Sending hugs your way. xx

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  57. i can't thank all of you enough -- feeling very lucky to have such a supportive group behind me. again, thank you.

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  58. Jamie, I am so sorry to hear of your mother's passing. My mom is one of my best friends and biggest cheerleaders.I can't imagine not having her in my life.Some of us are blessed to have wonderful moms in our lives and all the wonderful memories of her will help get you through this difficult time.

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  59. so sorry Jamie, I just saw this and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. such a beautiful tribute to your mom! -Chesa

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  60. i am so sorry
    peach

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  61. Thank you so much for sharing Jamie. I am deeply sorry for your loss and am hoping you find the inner strength to get through this tough time x

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  62. Your post was beautiful! Thank you for sharing. Sending love, hugs and prayers your way!! GB

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  63. I'm so sorry to hear that Jamie! I can't imagine what you must be going through. Lots of love being sent your way. This was a beautiful post about your mother and your love for her shone through.

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  64. I am so sorry to hear about your Mum, I remember you used to talk about her a lot on this blog - particularly when you lost your job and before you started the shop - she would know that you appreciated her.

    Cancer is a CU*T. I have a husband and a wonderful mother in law battling it at the moment.

    x

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  65. Jamie, I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful mom. What a blessing to have had such a supportive and loving role model. I just lost my brother too and a friend told me about your post and you feeling like a fish out of water. Perfectly put. May time soothe your broken heart.

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  66. Jamie, I never comment on blogs but wanted to send you a note as a long time reader and a shared May 17th birthday. I am so so sorry for your loss. Having recently gone through a similarily scary time with my mother in the ICU, just a few weeks ago - not knowing at many times if she'd pull through. I promised everything under the sun for her to wake up. That I'd be a better daughter, sister, friend, that I'd pray myself into having a grandbaby for her tomorrow if I could, but most of all that I was so sorry for all the tension we've had over the years. That in the end we're really more alike that we both would ever freely admit. Thankfully my story had a happy ending and she made it through when she probably shouldn't have, but I wanted to write to you to tell you what she said because I think it might give you some peace. She said "kate, I knew all the things you promised and felt before you said them, I'm your momma and I love you and know you no matter what." She knew Jamie and she still loves you, just from afar now. Hugs to you and get some snuggles from your pups. all the best, katie

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  67. I have read your blog for years, and I am sorry for your loss. I also want you to know that the way you share the bits about your personal life on the blog are the exact right balance. I have to write for a living too, and I think what you wrote about your mother was perfect and lovely. Thank you for sharing your passions with us.

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  68. Jamie, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. I pray you find peace in all of this, and I thank you for sharing. I've enjoyed following you on here and socially for some time now, and I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability.

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  69. Oh Jamie I am so so sorry to hear this. I wish you peace and my thoughts are with you and your family. Keep on keeping on girl, I know your mama will always be proud of her creative, inspirational and funny daughter...from the loving words your wrote, it sounds like the apple didn't fall far from the tree!

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  70. Because only a virtual bear hug is appropriate after a post like that.

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  71. Oh Jamie, I am so sorry. It seems like the good ones make the best angels, and that isn't right. What a loss to you, but you are her gift to all of us. I am s very sorry. Y'all will be on my heart.

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  72. We learned of your loss in a call from NOLO.

    Peace, Joy, and Love for you and your family
    Ann & Vance

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  73. Jamie, I just now saw this post about your mom. I am so very, very sorry. I know what losing an awesome mom is like...and I feel for you. Your fish out of water comment really hit home. Please know that I am sending you strength and love. I'm so glad you are aware of exactly what your mom meant to you and how she shows herself in you and what you do. What a great comfort to have that. Take care of yourself during this difficult time and realize how much we all love you! :)
    -Brooke Cedros

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  74. Jamie,
    Thought I had left a comment. I have been thinking about you so much. Lovely tribute and now I know where your love for pretty things stems. The Mother Flower.
    My Dad passed away July 31 and my Mother is not far behind. It's hard to lose them but knowing they are behind us, every step makes it a little easier.
    Treasure all your memories.
    pve

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  75. Prayers for you and your family. Your sweet words certainly honor your mom, and she must be so proud of you.

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  76. I just read about your mother. I am so very sorry for your loss. This was such a beautiful tribute to your mother. I'm sure she knew just how much you loved and treasured her.
    Sending many good thoughts your way.

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  77. I just read this and am so sorry for your loss. I must believe that in her heart, your mother knew how you felt and loved you regardless of what you said.

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  78. Catching up with blog reading and I'm just now seeing this, Jamie. What a beautifully written, inspiring tribute to your mother. Thank you for sharing this with us. Sending lots of love and positive thoughts your way!

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