This idea is all over lately. I blogged on this yesterday (sort of) before this article. Hmmm...
An American man will read that article and congratulate himself on his well-deserved happiness. His wife/girlfriend/mother will read that same set of ideas and berate herself because she 'should' be happy. Until women decide as individuals that it's okay to be proud of an accomplishment, EVEN IF we feel like we could have done a better job, we won't be happy.The last statement about choices and their inherently stressful nature hits the nail on the head. It won't be painless for such complex creatures, but we will have to choose happiness.Thanks for posting that article!!
(This is long, sorry!) I think that these findings shouldn’t really be a surprise.1) The once-prevalent norm for females to marry/support the home/raise a family is still very present in today’s culture. Any twenty-something female who is single, childless, or both can attest to feeling this pressure at some point in their life. (raises hand!) It’s just that this norm is no longer the only norm. 2) It is fair to say that if women are still feeling this pressure, men probably are, too. To be very (!) general, men are raised with more-or-less the same theme of “take care.” Of wife, family, home life, work—they all fall into this category.3) Therefore, if a woman is taking on more responsibility—inside and outside of the home—than was previously expected of her, then the man in the equation experiences a relief as his burden is lightened somewhat. A balance is being achieved: woman is taking on more stress, man is releasing some stress.Personally, I think that in 20-30 years, the “happy” numbers will go up as things evolve and it becomes more commonly acceptable to take on more responsibility; women will theoretically be feeling less pressure from the previous generation to fit into this tiny little box. I also think that “happiness” and “contentment” can be two different things. There are moments when I wouldn’t say I’m happy, but I am very content. It would be interesting to see how the survey results shifted if the terms were swapped.
We are not! (Or, "numbers are malleable"...) Here's a linguist's view:http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=1753
P.S. Great points, mir
this concept as well as the emasculation of men. it's social change for sure. and are we really better off? we all watch mad men and wonder.
I don't know about anyone else but I'm happy.
I agree with tara s. - happiness IS a choice in that I CHOOSE to count my blessings and feel grateful for them everyday. I am happy at my core. A HUGE BUT - I am a stressed, depressed, frazzled mom of two, wife, student, and like so many other women add on other labels that we feel we should be and be GREAT at. Are we just doing this to ourselves? I feel pressure to do everything my mom did (work and run the house) on top of doing everything I want to do for myself and to fit in with my generation. Sheesh. Do men have these conversations?
Well, I wasn't until I read her article. Yikes...
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